Update on my Uncle

This is a copy of the letter I sent out to everyone...... God is so good.....

I am in complete shock right now. Cancer has been a major destruction in my family for generations and generations. My Uncle's Grandfather died of colon cancer, his daddy died of lung cancer, his brother died of lymphoma 3 years ago, his mother died of lung cancer 10 years ago and his sister was HEALED by the power of the Holy Spirit of lung cancer 4 years ago, the list goes on.............. when they found that tumour in his colon and went in for major surgery, the doctor told him he was certain it was stage 2 cancer unless it spread to the lymph nodes then it could be stage 3 or 4, they called Moffit to get him set up for chemo.

In the mean time, my family pulled together in prayer. Pastors and great men and women of God were praying and visiting him in the hospitol...he was anointed with oil and we laid healing hands on him.... prayer chains were persistent and faithful...... 3 or 4 churches lifted him and the family up in prayer as a unified agreement in the church services..... my sister age 25 was baptized in the Holy Spirit..... my cousin and aunt rededicated their lives to God.....the list goes on.....

this morning........... the doctor came in and told my Uncle that he shouldn't have spoke to soon.......... the biopsy of the tumour came back negative. There is NO CANCER!!! My uncle is healed!!!!

This is a miracle and demonstration of the power of the Holy Spirit.

Thank you , Thank you for your prayers..... God is amazing......... and this is the results of faith in prayer.

I am on my way to hug his little neck..... love you all..... Please join me now in prayers of thanks and lets Glorify our Father in heaven who loves and adores us.... How amazing it is to be a CHILD OF GOD!!!!

a little too much to note ????

I know that it has been a few days, you ever had the feeling that there is just too much going to write about? I know sometimes you don't write because there isn't much to note. But I honestly have sat down and started to write several times, but my mind was racing and didn't know where to start.

I had to finally JUST DO IT......

I will not go into extreme detail, but I will tell you that it has been a roller coaster week! Family, sickness, work, friends in need, ect. But I will have you know, God is doing a great work all around me. Last night in class, the professor made an awesome statement, "The greater the tribulation, the greater the exaltation"

I want to be clean Lord, set a part for your work, your purpose, your great will.

breath a little better....

I am a feet snuggler....I have to wrap my feet under the person behind me, if my toes are warm, I sleep well....... apparently my Mom is the say way, so we snuggled our feet and I was out like a light. The Lord blessed all of us girls with a wonderful rest. Much needed.

My aunt talked to the ICU nurse and they said he is awake, I jerked on my clothes....barely brushed my hair and got out the door......

What a trooper, I walked in and there he was, hooked up to the ventilator, tied down to the bed, so helpless..... a "necessary evil" is what they call it, basically it necessarily sucks!!!! He was in so much pain, they stopped his pain meds so they could see if he can actually breath on his own ..... So now...he has a tube down his throat, tube up his nose and a incision from stem to sternum....barely any pain medicine....lets just say he was not a happy camper.....His little feet were so cold.....I tucked them under my shirt to keep them warm and waited there with him. No one in the family wanted to see him like that..... but I know that I wouldn't want to be alone if it were me. He couldn't speak for the tubes were down his throat, and I didn't speak because there was enough words exchanged as I looked into his eyes......

"Can I pray Uncle Larry? Can I invite the Holy Spirit into this situation this morning?"

He said yes with his eyes..... and we prayed.......

suddenly we were interrupted by the doctor, he opened the door and said," Mr.Smith, I have come in to take out your ventilator, just let me give you something for the pain first."

My uncle looked at me with his eyes......smiled as well as he could and pointed UP.....to God.

I smiled and said,"He is so faithful, isn't He?"

I had to leave the room this time, I couldn't watch them take that out, but he wasn't alone, Jesus was there with him.....when they were finished I came back in to his sun shiny face and he whispered," Ang, will you hold my feet again?"

"Of course I will......"

I held his cold little feet until he feel asleep peacefully........

A dear friend of mine said something to me that really made me look at things A WHOLE lot differently. He said, in so many words, that not only is God a BIG GOD and fully able , but he is a loving God and totally willing and wanting. That made me look at things in such a different way, YES, God can heal and YES, God can turn this situation around, but the most amazing thing is, it's because he WANTS to. He loves my Uncle more than I love my Uncle. When no one can handle seeing him hurt, Jesus is there beside him wrapping himself in His compassionate love. The almighty Father who is in love with His child.

Glory to you God......

long day

Wow, a day like today really helps the rest of my life seem like a piece of cake. I am at the hospital with my family, my Uncle is in the operating room. It's hard to see the "HE-MAN" of the family be so vulnerable. He was just diagnosed with with colon cancer last night..... when I got here I had all intentions of being the strong one, "hold it together Ang..... show them how much faith you have that GOD is in control and that everything will be fine." Yeah, soon as I saw them try to shove that tube down his nose 3 times and fail.....I had to leave the room and just break down...... they finally took him to the OR and here we wait to find out if they were able to remove all of the area's where there is in fact cancer.

****************

ok..... 5 hours later and they removed everything they could....the doctor says it looks good. We will know on Tuesday what the results are. What his survival rate is based on if it has spread to his lymph nodes or not.

He will not be waking up tonight.....we are all going back to my aunts to sleep.....

morning ramble

I started the morning off heating my toes with the hair dryer..... it was the fastest thing I could think of after waking up and walking into the bathroom..... tile floors in the winter.....brrrrr

I plan to get much accomplished today. I will start by calling my sisters to tell them both how much I miss them. Then I think I will uncover a section of my desk to see what the surface looks like, it's been a long time.

I am in the mood to smell flowers.

I am also in the mood for a warm biscuit. But I am on a BREAD STRIKE til April 4th. I have been doing pretty darn good, its been 11 days with NO BREAD...... well I take that back, yesterday while making the kids PB & J's I made one for myself before I noticed I engulfed it. Then while moving on to eat my son's crust...... it hit me. ooooops.

I really like tube socks, a lot.

Lord, is this really where you want me? I wont quit so if you want me to move on, just let the boss fire me. :-)

Taking Taylor (the bulldog) to get artificially inseminated this weekend. Not sure how I feel about that, I really wanted her to be married first.

His Patience

I read a blog today that reminded me once again of God's patience.

I just had to sit and meditate on this thought for a while. I am in awe of His love. I just have to lift my hands in the air in worship....praising all that He is in my world of failures and let downs, their He sits..... in the thrown room..... with His hand stretched out to pick me back up.... dust me off and sets my eyes before the path of righteousness. Every time I slip and fall, even though I know how to walk, I almost see clearly the rock that I run into...and I fall.....he so patiently and lovingly picks me back up. Never tires in helping me try try again. True adoration of His children. When I think about my own children, I tire in telling them the same things OVER and OVER and OVER again, I speak to them sometimes with condemnation in my voice.....sometimes if I do not see guilt in their face I feel like they have not learned their lesson. wow..... how humbling...... God's love is so powerful and perfect that even though we mess up time and time and time again, he picks us up, with NO condemnation in His sweet voice and tells us to NOT feel guilt....guilt is of the enemy, not of Him. Knowing that we will mess up again, He says,"I knew you would fall, and fall, and fall again.... that is why I sent my little boy to die for you. You could never get to me on your own."

I am excited to be where I am at today..... swimming in a life of forgiveness. I will submerge myself in His word, school, missions, prayer and fellowship.....

Wash over me today, Father. Thank you for your PERFECT LOVE.....given to me freely.... even though it cost you so much. I do not deserve it.....and we both know this.... I am honored, and I will live my life sharing this gift....I will not keep it all to myself....everyone needs to know what an amazing Daddy you are..... Thank you Father.....

Colossians 1:29 "For this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me."

Happily Your Princess.....

Wedding Bells? Or is that my ears ringing?

I have to laugh.... I didn't put a quarter as much time into my own wedding as I have my best friends. Maybe because I was young and it just wasn't my "dream" growing up to be the princess bride when I got older...... have 20 kids and become Betty Homemaker.

All of the details is making me crazy, does every little rhinestone, napkin and chair cover REALLY matter so much? It is only a 5 hour event for crying out loud.

Yes, I get it, the day needs to be perfect for the Bride..... but why don't you just give me the 10 thousand plus dollars that this wedding is costing and I will give the Bride a perfect WEEK....and still have enough left over to buy myself a few pairs of shoes. :-)

I love her, and I want so much for her..... I hold the title of the Matron of honor in true delight, I will shower her at her Bridal shower and I am taking her far far away for her Bachelorette Party.... I will stand beside her on her special day....shed a few tears as her father gives her away.... dance all night with her til we both drop....it really will be a night to remember..... and I am so happy her dream day is becoming a reality.....

But I have to say........ after April 5th.... I do not think I can deal with another THOUGHT of a wedding. Its just so OVER RATED...... what happened to a nice and simple gathering on the beach or at the park..... exchange vows before God and BOOM.... you share his name.

Ta' Daaaaaaa!!!

All Around Me

My hands are searching for you My arms are outstretched towards you. I feel you on my fingertips. My tongue dances behind my lips for you. This fire rising through my being. Burning I'm not used to seeing you. I'm alive, I'm alive I can feel you all around me. Thickening the air I'm breathing. Holding on to what I'm feeling. Savoring this heart that's healing. My hands float up above me. And you whisper you love me. And I begin to fade. Into our secret place. The music makes me sway. The angels singing say we are alone with you. I am alone and they are too with you. I'm alive, I'm alive. I can feel you all around me. Thickening the air I'm breathing. Holding on to what I'm feeling. Savoring this heart that's healing. And so I cry. The light is white. And I see youI'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive. I can feel you all around me. Thickening the air I'm breathing. Holding on to what I'm feeling. Savoring this heart that's healing. Take my hand. I give it to you. Now you own me. All I am. You said you would never leave me. I believe you. I believeI can feel you all around me. Thickening the air I'm breathing. Holding on to what I'm feeling. Savoring this heart that's healed

Flyleaf


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Wn6ZT5apFc

Your Eyes

couldn't ever build the courage to look your way

but there I stood and your eyes never wandered from me

my imperfections you wrapped in hope and redemption

its hard to accept how you see me

I want to be, who I see in your eyes

rid of it all, and free from the lies

a dream into reality, delicately love flavored

covered in holiness, that forever is savored

I need to step off of this edge to soar

into everything you are wanting of me...... and more

I am blocking the wind that would get my feet off the ground

with my past that has put my dreams into a slumber

wake me.....shake me, O Lord.....

uncover my face ,make my vision spiritually clear

I want to see through your eyes

A little Goodnight...

the day I can say was fulfilling

couldn't have asked for much more

I woke up to puppy breath

I accomplished a "plethora" of work in the office , hassle free I might add

I exchanged some fun emails with a dear friend

had some great conversation and laughter with a wonderful woman

it was my first day back to school , I went with a clear mind

tonight I saw his heart

he loves me

I feel so content in this crazy circle

how is that?

Goodnight.........

I wish for Emily

when she looks in the mirror
I want her to KNOW herself
but how can she know herself
If she doesn't know where her face came from?
I am realizing that my past
isn't really my past
it is still right now
It is like putting something away
you can brush it under a rug
hide it in a closet
put it on top of the fridge
then one day
when your not looking for it
not even ready to find it
you stumble on to it
there your past is revealed
therefor makes it present again
there is no such thing as ex-children
they are always your children
I don't care what papers you can show me
In my heart
I am still her mother
wherever she is....
she will find me.....
until that day
when a star shoots over the black sky, I have one wish
over a birth day lit with candles, still I have one wish
to puff away a fallen eye lash, I only have one wish
there is only one thing on my mind when I blow on a wishing flower.....
I wish for Emily......

Last day with Jeni :-(

She is sleeping right now so I have a moment to write;

It has been so nice with her here. She has been here for 7 days and it has been so wonderful for me. Someone to talk to through out the day, someone to laugh with and be silly with. Some one to ramble about "nothing" with. I even enjoy our funny disagreements.

At night, it reminds me of when we were little girls, we stay up as late as we can! Except its for different reasons, now its so that we can get the most out of her stay, and its a little harder to keep our eyes open so we have to throw back coffee all night. :-)

She is so special to me, my little sister..... she is like the model for "sweetness". I learn from her every time she is around. Actually, she is the reason I started to blog in the first place. Now its almost something I "need" to do. An outlet.

I do NOT like the fact that she is leaving in the morning, my heart is crying ...... after she is gone, I will be alone again. Not literally, of course...... but it will feel like it. It always does.

I am going to miss you Jen!

Pray for Kenya

My heart aches tonight for the Kenya people, the East African nation that won my heart just a few months ago. Violence has erupted as it appears the election may have been stolen by supporters of Mwai Kibaki the sitting President. I am torn as I am reading about the slaughter of children and families.

I cannot really think enough to write.... but here is a link for the Kenya Daily.

http://www.kenyadaily.com/

Please pray for this beautiful nation. Pray for governmental integrity. Pray that the church and the people will speak truth to leaders. Pray for protection. Pray for discernment and strength in the leadership. Pray for the hearts of the wicked who are slaughtering these people. Pray that the Christians stand strong on the power of Christ Kingdom and fear no evil for thou art with them.....And pray that God's Will will be done in Kenya, as it is in heaven.

Goodnight....

Good morning Lord....

Thank you for the beautiful rest

it was a long day that you had given to me

so full of love and laughter

was not sure when night was ever going to fall :-)

Thank you for the most perfect greeting this morning

a greeting that only YOU in the highest could present

who could be worthy? not I

the darkness broke with the roaring of the sun

the ground was sprinkled with only the finest of dew

each drop was set perfectly in place

when the sky was lit, all the foundation stood still

sparkling with an array of the most radiant colors

so proudly every thing played its roll in this mornings routine

it is funny how even the night creatures hush

for they know they are not permitted to chatter among the daylight performance

the birds break through with the sweetest song

you gave them the tune this morning, just for me.....

"I am special to someone"

what a message to hear when I wake up

Lord, thank you from this day

I accept it as the most precious gift.

I lift my hands above me now

my face shifts toward you

I listen to what you have to say

I love you too Daddy.

He'll never really know....

I cant really show it

there is only so much I can express

there is no way to prove it

actions speak louder than words

but there is no way I can act as loud as my words

I feel a bit confined within my own heart

here I sit quietly as I hold a piece of his

it is so precious to me

sometimes I want to just scream...... then I flutter....

He will never know how much I really love him.

I will just blow kisses in the wind

and pretend they are coming back

:-)